Countdown to the 1991 Grammy Awards, Part 2: Nominees for Best Rock Vocal Performance – Female

Saturday, February 16, 1991

With only four days away from the 33rd Grammy Awards, we continue with our look at the nominees in some of the major categories. Tonight, we turn our attention to the nominees for Best Rock Vocal Performance by a Female.

This is often one of those awards that’s handed out in the pre-televised portion of the ceremony. There simply isn’t enough air time to hand out all the awards on live television. You see, they have so many categories at the Grammy Awards that half the audience goes home with a statue. My fiancée has four Grammies and she’s not even in the music business. I don’t like my fiancée.

Anywaze…the nominees for Best Rock Vocal Performance by a Female are:

• Melissa Etheridge for “The Angels”
  Okay, has anybody ever heard this song? There is always at least one song in this category that nobody has ever heard. No, wait a minute. I think Amy Grant recorded this song once. Maybe Melissa Etheridge should record an Amy Grant tribute album. My roommate, Tim, has the hots for Melissa Etheridge and wants to be her date for the Grammies. Why not? She’s single. She doesn’t even have a boyfriend.

• Janet Jackson for “Black Cat”
  This proves Janet Jackson can rock just as great as she can belt out the rhythm ‘n’ blues. No one can deny what an awesome performer she is. They should have had Janet Jackson perform at the Super Bowl last month instead of New Kids on the Block. That way, Peter Jennings wouldn’t have preempted it. Oh well, maybe some day Janet Jackson will get her shot at Super Bowl halftime stardom.

• Alannah Myles for “Black Velvet”
  Has anyone seen Janet Jackson’s black cat? Oh, there it is…hiding in Alannah Myles’ black velvet. For the longest time, I thought this song was recorded by a group named A Lot of Miles. Doesn’t she say something about Kenny Rogers in this song? Yeah, she says that somebody is jamming to Kenny Rogers and it’s turned up real loud. Is there any other way to listen to Kenny Rogers but loud?

• Stevie Nicks for “Whole Lotta Trouble”
  Now “Rooms on Fire” was the hit from the album, The Other Side of the Mirror, but for some reason, “Whole Lotta Trouble” is the song that got nominated. How does that happen? This is the first album that Stevie has recorded since rehab. I hope she stays off the cocaine. You know what she needs? Klonopin.

• Tina Turner for “Steamy Windows”
  Now at her age, if Tina Turner has steamy windows, it’s only because she’s having hot flashes. That’s all I have to say.

Who do you think should win? Here’s my pick.